Are You Ready for Change?

Have you ever wanted to change something in your life? You may have wanted to start a new and healthy behavior or to stop an old and unhealthy one. Maybe you have wanted to start exercising or to stop watching so much TV. Or has it been more serious, such as wanting to start a deeper spiritual time of prayer and Bible study or to stop a destructive addiction? Have you been starting or stopping but frustrated because you have been unable to sustain the change? The apostle Paul puts it this way in Romans 7:19, "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing."

I have had to start and stop many behaviors in my life. As a recovering addict, I have experienced many addictions I have needed to stop - sinful sex, nicotine, caffeine, and food. I have also needed to start healthy behaviors - exercising, eating healthy, maintaining my male friendships, and practicing spiritual disciplines. In this book, I would like to share with you the seven principles of accountability I have learned that have continually helped me with those changes.

Change is a process and often takes longer than we think. For many of us it is a lifetime journey. To achieve true change, a person must be accountable to others to make that change. I would therefore like to share with you what true accountability is all about. Over the years, I have seen many people struggle with addiction because they don't fully understand the foundation of accountability.

There are two sources of these seven principles. The first source comes from the wisdom found in most addiction recovery programs. In essence, whether these programs are secular or Christian, they have built their core structure on the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Here is a short history of AA. In 1935, Bill Wilson was on a business trip to Ohio. After years of struggle with alcoholism, he had finally found sobriety through a rather remarkable spiritual experience while hospitalized. Now, at a hotel in Ohio, he found it hard to pass by the hotel bar and not go in. So Bill W. (as he is known by millions) called every local pastor and priest until one finally told him to go talk to the town drunk, Dr. Bob Smith. Dr. Bob had not yet been able to stop his drinking. When they met one fateful night, Bill asked Bob to help him by simply listening to his struggles. Bill W. was not there to preach at him. He was there desperate and needy. As they talked throughout the night, the essence of what was to become the twelve steps program was formed. That first AA meeting has led to thousands of meetings around the world and millions of lives saved from the ravages of alcoholism.

Each in their own way, Bill W. and Dr. Bob, had been influenced by Christian principles. Those of us who have really strived to "work" the steps and who are Christian, know that they are totally consistent with our theological understanding of who God is and what the Bible teaches. As you read and seek to digest what I have to teach you in this book, you find the twelve steps are a strongly influential source.

The second source, which will really provide the structure of this book, is from two Old Testament sources. First, the book of Nehemiah, at least the first six chapters, contains the truths of the seven principles of highly accountable men. Second, the story of the exodus of the Jewish people our of the land of Egypt will illustrate the core essence of how people change.

As you read this, let me offer you several words of encouragement and instruction. Those of us who have tried to change a behavior and often failed are full of shame. Shame is a very biblical emotion and in a healthy way can remind us that we need God in our lives. Shame can also be a very deadly emotion when it becomes the feeling that we are bad and worthless persons, perhaps even that we are a mistake. When any of us experience difficulty in changing, we feel a confirmation that we will never get it right. Ultimately, shame leads many of us to believe that not even God can love us.

Nothing can be further from the truth. The Bible is clear. We are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps.139:14), God loves us so much that he sent his only Son to save us (John 3:16), and there is no sin that can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:39).

In truth, you can change. The first part of accountability will be to find those around you who might remind you of God's truth. Let me be the first: "You are a wonderful child of God and change is possible."